Monthly Archives: April 2011

Success

I’ll never make it as an artist, because I don’t make dumb shit like…

…or paint by sticking two fingers down my esophagus…

…worse…philmology…

…and finally…

…people will love the dumb shit.

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Church of the Subgenius

Don’t call it a comeback….. I guess?

It’s come a long, long way since Night Flight.

I was 9 years old for 365 days: BoomBox

“Summer Day” in fifth grade,  three days before graduating from Northlake Elementary School.  Everyone was wearing “jams”, playing on all the unsafe and unregulated playground equipment because we didn’t need to worry about that shit.  We brought coolers filled with apple juice, bologna samiches and either a jam-box, boom-box or ghetto-blaster (it depended on what music one played).   Beach blankets were separated by a fifteen foot barrier of sound and we  mingled, I guess we were bar-hopping.  No one was playing NPR though.  Damn.

News of Some Week in March: HOLOCAUST VIRGIN BOOTY (don’t worry, it’s about words in the Bible.)

 “Holocaust” used to mean an offering made to God burned in its entirety, according to Sperry.

“Now it has come to mean only genocide,” she said. “There is an extraordinarily negative context to it and there is an aversion to it. To get past that block in people’s minds we use the word ‘burnt offering’ because it is a positive thing.”   

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Is everything going to change or become so censored we forget or don’t believe?  Is everyone going to believe the email that Britain is going to stop teaching students about the Holocaust or that the Nazi’s were just sending a “burnt offering” ?

Anyways,  words change meaning over time, a few become slang and of course many inherit loss in translation, but  should we update, or renovate any textbook, novel  or description because a word has fallacious connotations or becomes offensive?

This story reminds me of a  stupid yet mildly relative joke………………………… …………..

The Pope dies and goes to heaven where he’s met by a reception of angels.

After a  tour, The Pope is told that he can enjoy any of the recreations available.

He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, so he spends the next eon or so learning the languages.

After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pour over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent “Easy Reading” to the original handwritten script.

The angel librarian hears a loud scream, and goes running toward its source only to find the Pope huddled in a chair, shaking and crying.

“The R! They left out the R!”

“What do you mean?” the angel librarian asks.

After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, “The word was supposed to be CELEBRATE, CELEBRATE!”

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I know of several contemporary King James  Bibles but a version pertaining  to the mother of  God’stm  son becoming so au courant  and safe Mary becomes a young woman and not a virgin.  That’s crazy.  Will they soon remove the word taint because it’s now also used to describe the  perineum?  Too many questions.

News of last week: Phones

I had no idea they could do this.

I wonder if they can do it to the phone I use?

Big Trouble Kurt Russel

Risk Group?
Sign the mountains Holy Loin U.S.A.
Ava Leigh gave me more in Armenia.